Run #906,Tue 24 Dec,Hare: Speedlane ,Run Site: Bukit Gasing,Please RSVP to Speedlane at +6010-20666723.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
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Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the servant, 'Why are you so happy?'
The man replied, 'Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies.'
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's' story, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, I believe that the servant Has not been made part of The 99 Club.'
'The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?' the King inquired.
The advisor replied, 'Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep.'
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins!
He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, 'What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!' He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.'
He continued, 'The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough To be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 saying to themselves: 'Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.'
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires.
That's the 99 club.
We can, perhaps all learn from this story - Stop worrying and enjoy life with what we have!
Take care..
Regards
Palani
PAL Vision Associates
palani.nn@gmail.com ,http://palvision.blogspot.com/
H/P:0123063994 Off:03-79635075 Fax:03-67315603
Address: 12B5H, Plaza Sungai Mas, 5th Mile Jalan Ipoh, 51200 Kuala Lumpur.
Sent from mobile
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey, Oprah asked,'
Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.'
Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.'
Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age.'
George said, 'Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it.'
Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man, would you do it with me?'
So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, 'I just don't believe I have ever been so satisfied, you are a remarkable man.'
George said, 'The second time is even better than the first time."
Oprah said, 'You can really do it again at your age?'
George said, 'Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes.'
When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside herself with joy.
She said, 'Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have it be better than the first time.. At your age, Oh My, Oh.... My!!!'
George said that the third time would be even better. 'You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me in thirty minutes.'
Oprah said, 'Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?'
George said, 'No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she stole my wallet.'
What a Twist!
Take care..
Regards
Palani
http://palvision.blogspot.com/
pal_vision-subscribe@yahoogroups.com รง Click here to subscribe to PalVision Mailing List
Run #898,Tue 29 Oct,Hare: Itchy Finger ,Run Site: Bukit Gasing,Please RSVP to Itchy Finger at +6012-3063994.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
Run #898,Tue 29 Oct,Hare: Itchy Finger ,Run Site: ,Please RSVP to Itchy Finger at +6012-3063994.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
Run #894,Tue 01 Oct,KHHHKJ October Fest. ,Run Site: Bukit Gasing,Please RSVP to ON Sec at +6019-2406331.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
Run #892,Tue 17 Sep,Hare: Boot Legger, Run Site: Bukit Subang, Please RSVP to Boot Legger at +6012-2029007.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
Run #892,Tue 17 Sep,Hare: Boot Legger ,Run Site: Bukit Subang,Please RSVP to Boot Legger at +6012-2029007.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
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The Cigarette Story (made up by someone very creative, by just using cigarette brand names)
I am PETER STUYVESANT and I have two good friends, BENSON & HEDGES.
I come from the City of MARLBORO in the SALEM high Country & I always carry a MILD SEVEN.
One day, I was on a WHITE HORSE going to KINGSWAY at KENT.
It was a LUCKY STRIKE as I fell in love with the daughter of MASTER DUKE. Her name was YSL.
We were married by PERILLYS, the local Priest and checked in at the House of DUNHILL with the room no 555.
I laid her on the bed made of GOLD LEAF, and I played with her two MATTERHORN'S.
When I poked in my ROTHMANS KING SIZE, she cried in delight.
"you are a ROUGH RIDER !!!! you're riding like a wild CAMEL.
When I asked her if she was satisfied, she just answered:
I want MORE.....then suddenly she turned around and asked me if I wanted to enter her GUDANG GARAM.
She said depan dan belakang puas.... barulah SAMPOERNA.
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You B*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you B*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going down the tracks'.
The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.'
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.'
She hears the little boy continue,
'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'
As the mother began to smile, the child added..........
'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.
Run #889,Tue 27 Aug,Hare: Rakan Cop ,Run Site: Bukit Gasing,Please RSVP to Rakan Cop at +6019-6163255.Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com ON ON
After being married for many years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an Alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks ... "What the heck does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot".
She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
[The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving another part of his anatomy ! ].
Keep smiling. my friends!
Education isn't the only learning experience..
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman said, 'Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan, 'Oh!'
Raman, 'For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?'
Narayan, 'No.'
Raman, 'He's the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you take night courses you would know this.'
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman, 'Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?'
Narayan, 'No.'
Raman, 'He's the author of 'The Three Musketeers'. If you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman, 'And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?'
Narayan, 'No.'
Raman, 'He's the author of 'Confessions'. If you take night courses, you would know this.'
This time, Narayan got irritated and said, 'And you. Do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?'
Raman, 'No.'
Narayan, 'He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop taking night courses, you would know this.'
One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink..
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'
The blonde said it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'
(You gotta love this)
The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'
A daughter asked her dad, "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand.
He said that I have a beautiful chassis, 2 lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."
Dad said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and pulls out his dipstick to check the oil, I will give his nuts such a service that his motor will cease and his exhaust will fall off."
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely, barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely, barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.
One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror,
she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry!
Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got
a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the
window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly
discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon,
so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in
as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had
been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always
run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your
clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get
dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you
always wear a condom when you run?'
'Nope. Just when it's raining.'
A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said,"Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose. "
AGM Notice: 18th June 2013
AGM will be on Tuesday, 9th July 2013
Nomination close date: 25th June 2013.
Proposal should be in written form and given to ON SEC by Tuesday, 25th June 2013.
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGY AUSTRALIA WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE,
THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO ! BREAK
I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE BUNNINGS WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS...............
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.
HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU ! BAKE?
SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO..
DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!
Hare: Cool Roy,
Run Site: Kota Kemuning,
Please RSVP to Cool Roy at +6012-3089355.
Sign outside a Silicone Breast Implant Clinic in Karachi:
If nature has given you "lemons",
we will re-arrange the alphabets &
convert them into "melons"
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle,"Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,
SLIM
TALL
38D BREASTS
24" WAIST and
36" HIPS.
When she walks into a room, people say, "Jesus Christ!".
Dear Harimaus, please take note of your run date. There will be adjustments if someone goes on leave or resigns.
Take care..
Regards
Palani
PAL Vision Associates
palani.nn@gmail.com , http://palvision.blogspot.com/
H/P:0123063994 Off:03-79635075 Fax:03-67315603
Address: 12B5H, Plaza Sungai Mas, 5th Mile Jalan Ipoh, 51200 Kuala Lumpur
pal_vision-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ç Click here to subscribe to PalVision Mailing List
Run #874,Tue 14 May,
Hare: Half Boil ,
Run Site: Bukit Gasing,
Please RSVP to Half Boil at +6012-6902839.
Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com
ON ON -Itchy Finger
Harimau varuthu, Harimau varuthu
Naveru naveru villagu villagu, Naveru naveru villagu villagu
Kottai yellam suringiruchi, Mandai yellam verthirichi
Vodi vara Harimau, Paaathu navuru navuru
Villagu villagu , Villagu villagu ON ON !!!!!!!!!
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer was obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King ' s chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen ' s brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King quickly summoned Nick. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King ' s underwear, esp in the area nearest the arse. The King immediately summoned Nick.
The moral of the story - Pay your bills
Run #873,Tue 07 May,
Hare: Sagalan,
Run Site: Pantai Hill Park,
Please RSVP to Sagalan at +6012-2330556.
Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com
Run #872,Tue 30 Apr,
Hare: Rojak,
Run Site: Sri Bintang,
Please RSVP to Rojak at +6012-3982323.
Details at khhhkj.blogspot.com
ON ON -Itchy Finger
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed thestudents, pointing out some of the rules, saying, "Thefemale dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all malestudents, and the male dormitory to the female students.Anyone caught breaking this rule once will be fined $50."He continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule a secondtime will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $400. Are there any questions?"At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
Run #870,Tue 16 Apr,
Hare: Danger Dave,
Run Site: Bukit Gasing,
Please RSVP to Danger Dave at +6019-2406331.
Regards
Pal ( Itchy Finger )
p: +60123063994
e: palani.nn@gmail.com w: palvision.blogspot.com
"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife.
"No," said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled
out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.
"Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?" she asked.
"Uh, no," he said.
She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her
panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
"No," he said, now really intrigued…
"Well, go look in the garage...
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed ....
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about,--- 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the
bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go up stairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
